11.04- If I dressed up like a French Maid and cooked for my boyfriend, why didn’t he have sex with me?

Because he was too full to f*ck?! (I never understood why people eat before planning on having sex… shouldn’t we eat afterwards?! Or during…) Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

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10.30- Is monogamy possible?

No. That’s why it rhymes with monotony. – The brevity of this answer is based on marital monotony, assuming a marriage is consummated in one’s 20′s and the marriage lasts for over 40 years… Monotony is possible within a relationship (I am not a complete hater) but in general will not last much more than [...]

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10.29- Why do I always think about other people (men, women) when I have sex with my boyfriend?

Because your mind is your most important sexual organ. And sex with your husband feels like incest, at best. Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

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10.28- Why am I attracted to married women?

Because there is no easier competition than a husband. Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

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10.27- My girlfriend wants to do me in the bum with a strap on… If I let her would that mean I’m gay?

Yes. Oh, and just in case that wasn’t clear enough for you, the answer was: YES, THAT PRETTY MUCH MAKES YOU GAY. And if it doesn’t make you gay, it makes you a gimp. Take your pick. Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

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10.26- I kissed a girl, but next time I saw her she was with someone else. What shall I do?

Kiss someone else. Preferably someone she knows… Smack! Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

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10.25- My best mate and I are being ‘played’ by the same girl. Help.

You’re a pair of losers. The fact that you both know and are still doing it is a little sick. You might as well cut out the middle man and just start ‘playing’ with each other. You’re one step away from being there anyway and it would make your lives so much less complicated. Does [...]

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10.24- I’m gay and I don’t know how to tell my family.

I’m a pervert and I don’t plan on telling anybody. Why do you have to tell your family? I bet they haven’t even asked you, have they? And nobody really gives a damn anyway, they only pretend to… So stop imposing your insecurities on other people. As long as you don’t have one of those [...]

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10.23- My wife doesn’t want to have sex anymore. Why?

Because she’s your wife. & she still ends up with half your money. Smack! Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

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10.22- My boyfriend disappears at night. Is he having an affair?

Yes… Which gives you the chance to do the same. Every cloud has a silver lining. Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

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