- I am having sex with my best friend’s girlfriend. Should I stop?

You shouldn’t have started, you tit. But you did. So, don’t get caught. Yes…that’s the best I can do. Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

- I had sex with my hot neighbor but am worried about the explosion when she sees me with other girls.

It will turn her on… Diplomacy is over-rated. Smack! Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

- How can I introduce ‘pleasure toys’ without offending my boyfriend?

Errr… gently? Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

- Can you love 2 people at the same time?

Yes… it’s called a threesome. Smack! Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

- Should I have sex before marriage?

Yes. Practice makes perfect. And once you’re married you won’t have sex much anyway. Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

- What’s your view on abortion? I’m 20, pregnant, unmarried, poor and scared.

Abort. I think that it is better for you and therefore better for the baby if you don’t have it. You are clearly in no position to be a mother. As much as the religious right will tell you it’s murder, I would rather be murdered and not feel it, than be kept alive to [...]

- I drink too much. Am I an alcoholic?

No. You’re an idiot. And alcohol is your way of trying to forget it. Nothing good comes from alcohol – you say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, think the wrong thing, have sex with the wrong person and then you don’t even remember if you had a good time… plus it makes you [...]

- My boyfriend left his wife, but is not divorced yet. Should I stay?

Why not? But do NOT marry him – if he failed once, he’ll fail again… but next time it will be with you. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy it for what it is – I would… if my girlfriend left her husband. Like I always say – married people are only good for one thing. [...]

- A hobo stole my motorcycle cover. What should I do?

1. Don’t touch the cover ever again. It is infested, for sure. 2. If you see him, just say, in a friendly manner, “I hope you die”. It works. I know. I call it ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’. Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com

- I’m overweight and I don’t like it. What can I do?

You are not overweight – you are fat. And there is no reason for it – only excuses. Nobody fat came out of a concentration camp. Do some exercise. Eat wisely. Drink water. Stop whining. Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) – www.SmackTherapy.com